/me grabs rubber chicken, beats sister over the head with it, who then spins round in retaliation, knocking the nearby computer about, dropping a computer monitor...

/emote spends far too long fixing Alan's computer, again, until eventually sh... he (I've been spending too much time behind a female avatar) loses his temper with the damn thing and decides to put Alan in the Sharpshooter. Incidentally alan was bringing me a cup of coffee at this time but unfortunately he dropped it...

...spilling the stuff over Alan's lap, the realisation that a) there's spilt coffee everywhere and b) he's talking about himself in the third person, causing him to drop the defibrillators he was using to resuscitate this very thread, very nearly electocuting himself in the process...

CLEAR!

/me catches the defibrilators narrowly averting a whole electric thingy touching spilt coffee, national grid meltdown situation, but unfortunately drops her mobile...

...which unfortunately dropped on the conveniently-placed petrol station floor, igniting the drips of petrol all over the place (just to prove it does happen like the safety notices say so - apparently), scaring the bejeezus out of the passerby who drops a pin...