Tangent 21 - A little advice on men!

Posted by
lizzieslayer

Posted on
20:17
Apr 20 2002

A little advice on men!

Right I know there are allotta blokes on here. I need some help on a guy question. OK so I go into a cafe with my friends every saturday. And there's this guy there who always smiles at me! I just thought he thought it was wierd we come in there every saturday or something or that I was imagining it coz he's really cute

. But today was different, I went in with about 8 of my mates. And ended up spending hours in there. He engaged in a conversation with me about do we spend our lives in cafe's etc. And we talked again and my mates persuaded me to go up and by stuff and he kept smiling at me. And he was really sweet, & I saw he was looking at me (unless I was imagining it!) So I went back later on my own and he said "oooh back again?". Then when I was paying he came over and gave me discount. Then I collapsed in a comfy chair at the back of the cafe. And he came over and sat next to me, balancing his head on my chair. We talked for like 20 mins, and I found out how old he was (2 yrs older than me!) and where he goes to school. Then he asked to put his number on my phone. I was so chuffed, he told me to txt him later. So I did, saying I thought he was sweet to give me discount. And he said he thought I was very cool and pretty. I told him I thought he was cute and easy to talk to. And told him bout my ex, and that he sends me mean texts and how I have low selfesteem. Then he asked if I was single!!!!!! I said yeah why, and he texted back saying he wasnt but he wished he was for me.

I don't know what to do, he wants me to go see him in Costa tomorrow and I don't know if I should flirt or not!!!!!

coz I wouldnt like it if another girl was flirting with my boyf. I know he likes me, and I like him (alot). I really fancy him coz he's gorgeous and sweet, and I swear he was flirting with me today. Do you think Matt is worth it? Should I play hard to get or go and see him? Help!

13 Replies and 1606 Views in Total.

Cat "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." ~Anon

Well i'm not a man but my advice is, leave him alone.

messing with someone in a relationship always leads to trouble. If the relationship doesnt last then fine, get together then, but tell him your not getting involved until it's over.

Remember, if he'll cheat on her, he'd cheat on you too. And i have seen this happen many times, it's not just hearsay.

Posted: 21:12 Apr 20 2002

Sange It's only kinky the first time!!! after that it's just the Norm ;o)

by Cat
Well i'm not a man but my advice is, leave him alone.

messing with someone in a relationship always leads to trouble. If the relationship doesnt last then fine, get together then, but tell him your not getting involved until it's over.

Remember, if he'll cheat on her, he'd cheat on you too. And i have seen this happen many times, it's not just hearsay.

Everything she said hun , steer clear

Posted: 22:00 Apr 20 2002

Keenangel *Fourteen phonecalls a night??!!*

I'm with the above two... honey, don't touch him with a ten foot barge pole... sounds like trouble waiting to happen. He sounds as though he's messing with you... and you're worth far more than that.. don't go near him hon

Posted: 23:42 Apr 20 2002

DJ Billy You can't really dust for vomit.

Whatever the situation, you can't let yourself get involved with someone who is already in a relationship.

If Matt is unhappy in his current relationship then he needs to deal with that before anything else. Even just a bit of flirting can lead to you becoming his current girlfriend's Public Enemy No.1 (and sometimes it doesn't even take that) so it's best just to steer clear for the moment.

If the time does come when he's available then it's up to you whether you want to get involved. As Keeny says, it sound like he might be messing with you. As a general piece of advice though it's always worth getting to know someone for a while before you committing to a relationship, rather than rushing straight in.

And if this one doesn't work out then there'll always be plenty more opportunities

(Edited by DJ Billy 21/04/2002 00:15)

Posted: 00:12 Apr 21 2002

White Hart So long, and thanks for all the fish.

What everyone else said

I've known a lot of guys who work in bars, which is guess is not a lot different from cafes, and who see it as a great opportunity to flirt with all the pretty girls who come in. And quite often they'll have a girlfriend and also be seeing a couple of other girls at the same time.

On a more personal note, I was once seeing a guy who said he was leaving his girlfriend. Did he heck! And he was seeing someone else on the side.

My advice, Lizzie, is run a mile!

Posted: 10:21 Apr 21 2002

lizzieslayer Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

Thanks all! Well I bit the dust today. I went into Costa. When me and my mate went to pay he leaned over the counter and refused to let us pay. He wasn't overly friendly around my friend, he's a bit quiet (the quiet ones are the worst

) and shy but is really confident around me. I told him I might be back later and when I went back an hour later for lunch. He said he was gonna text me to come for lunch. When I paid again he gave me discount! Then we sat and ate lunch together for 45 mins. We talked for ages, we flirted alot too, and I told him off for flirting with me and he looked stressed and rubbed his eyes & said that he didn't know how long he and his girlf would last coz he thinks she sleeps around!!!! Wow by that time I was soooo happy

. And as he went back to work, I noticed him looking at me! He stuck his tongue out at me several times aswell

.

Anyway I saw someone I guessed was his girlf come in so I turned around and called head2head for a chat. Well anyway he came up to me afterwards and said he had talked to her about sleeping around. So he would be unsingle for a while and I could tell he felt bad. So I told him that he shouldn't keep a girl waiting and left after that.

I'm so confused coz he's been soooo nice to me! I'd love to go out with him but I'll have to settle for being a mate coz I don't think he's worth it. I think he likes me (he wouldn't give me free stuff, flirt with me, txt me alot and flatter me, also he really listens to me when I talk).

White Hart- I don't think he has the job to impress the girls. I'm the youngest person that goes in there, coz its in the bookshop Ottakars. And there's another Costa which is where all the 'young' people go

.

Anyway I'm still confused by him! MEN!

Posted: 15:57 Apr 21 2002

Persephone The past doesn't get any better. The past is not the present or the future.

It sounds like you've worked things through, although here are my two cents:

the only thing this guy likes is the security of being in a relationship. it sounds like he won't leave her until he thinks he has a chance with you.

It's always thrilling at the beginning of a relationship, everything is new and exciting. but you have something else thrown in... he already HAS a girlfriend. It makes it more exciting and a bit 'dangerous' even.

You said he wasn't "overly friendly" toward your friend, well honey that could be you if he decides to stay with his current girlfriend. Then you'll wonder where the nice guy went.

If he and his girlfriend do indeed separate, he will need time to get over her, even if he asks you out right away, tell him he needs time to deal with her gone.

I'm sure you're lonely, like all of us single girls, but take it from the millions of girls who have been there already... guys like that will give you nothing but heartbreak. I say run, don't walk, in the opposite direction!

Posted: 17:43 Apr 21 2002

Miss Edith People don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream -- what they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive. --Xander

I'm afraid I agree with everyone else. He sounds like a big no no.

Posted: 18:00 Apr 21 2002

Keenangel *Fourteen phonecalls a night??!!*

By saying that his girlfriend sleeps around sounds suspiciously convenient to me... what's he trying to justify here??.. Honey, he may be gorgeous, sweet and adorable, but the worst types are the ones who are "quiet" and "sweet" etc, believe me, a friend of mine was in the exact same situation!.. and it all ended in tears. I repeat what i said earlier... DON'T GO NEAR HIM!!!!!...

He has a girlfriend, whatever it is that she does, whether that's indeed true or not, if he was serious about dating you, he would've done something about that situation before flirting with you... avoid him honey, i can't stress that hard enough.. in the long run, you'll realise that he's just bad news.

Posted: 19:05 Apr 21 2002

lizzieslayer Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

Right well I do feel like crying coz I feel like an idiot. I practically spent the whole day with him, and talked to other people who work at the cafe. And I know he wants to be with his girlfriend. I will take your advice & steer clear, I'll just go in there now on and buy stuff, say hi and talk to my friends!

Txted him saying I wished he was single coz I like him, he txted back saying he liked me too but he loves his girlfriend to bits. Tis gonna be embarrassing seeing him in now!!! I feel I could be avoiding Costa from now on

(Edited by lizzieslayer 21/04/2002 19:26)

Posted: 19:24 Apr 21 2002

Keenangel *Fourteen phonecalls a night??!!*

Awwww honey ***huge huggles**. None of it is your fault, you liked him, he led you on, he's the idiot..

**More Huggles**-- cheer up hon, he just isn't worth it.

Posted: 19:29 Apr 21 2002