Had a phonecall from my dad this afternoon, to tell me my Grandma is dying and she probably won't last the night.
I went straight over to Yorkshire to see her, and have just got home. I've never seen anyone dying before, she looked so ill, and frail, as if she would snap if she moved.
She couldn't speak anymore and I'm not sure if she recognised me or not. I stroked her for a bit and we were talking to her, but she could only manage a few murmurs of sound, and she just stared at us.
I'm so devastated, coz I didn't make time to go and see her very often and now I've seen her for the last time, and I feel so guilty. I cried all the way home, after saying goodbye, and am still tearful now.
I have so many questions running round my head, like does she know it's the end, and will someone be with her when the time comes? The thought of her being alone is too much to bear. I just feel so useless now, I was supposed to keep talking to her as she still has her hearing, but I didn't know what to say, and now I feel as though I've wasted our last time together
I've never had to deal with anyone dying before (my grandad died when I was 3 but I was too young to understand) and I'm feeling so lost.
Guess I could do with a nice long (virtual) cuddle...
sending you **huge* huggles sweetie ... sorry to hear this
Jayjay"I may be scattered / A little shattered / What does it matter / No one has a fit like I do / I'm the only one that fits you"
OK, here comes the first (of loads, I'm sure) cuddle.
*Hug*
There's nothing I can really say to make things better, it's an awful thing to go through, but I'm sure some part of her knew you were there and appreciated. I don't think it was a waste.
MonSTeR No big eyes! No magic powers! No giant robots!
*hug*
Watcher girl I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it.[smiles] We're a knowledgeable family. the Lion in Winter
*big hugs* babe
SamphiretteTo you I guess I'm just a clown who picks you up each time you're down
Huge *huggles* Kitty. Sorry to hear about your grandma.
I've only lost one family member that I was close to and that was my grandad, but it was really sudden (a heart attack) and the one thing that always bugged me was not getting a chance to say goodbye
Whatever happens now at least you had that chance to go and see your grandma and that may comfort you in the long run.
Milky "Busted - Now that you're gone, I'm sleeping with the light on..." Pof, 2005
Kitty - our thoughts and prayers go to you and your family at this time
At the end of the day, I'm sure you're Grandmother knows how much you love her and understands that in this busy world making time to see her was difficult, but it doesn't mean you didn't think of her.
My aunt who passed away just before Christmas knew when her time was coming as she said she felt a great peace/warmth/light.
BIG *HUGGLES* and more BIG *HUGGLES* to you
Sydney You can lead the whore to culture but you can't make her think!
Oh Kel, Huge *huggles* . If you need any real life ones you know my number - just shout.
Its hard to say anything without sounding trite and patronising but suffice to say that my thoughts are with you and Claire and i hope you get through this ok.
Green_Amber Duct tape is like the force: It has a dark side, a light side, and it
holds the universe together.
*Huggles*
At least when she goes she will be at peace.
Miss Corrupt That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball!
More *hugs* here hun. Not a pleasant thing to be going through
Miss Edith People don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream -- what they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.
--Xander
Awwwwwwwwwwwww!! Poor babe!!HUGE hugs being sent your way
awww sweetie, i knwo i gave you loads of huggles last night but heres some more *millions of huggles*
i've had 3 close family members die and i know how hard it is but i've also done the 3 ways of them dying.
I was with my grandmother (who i saw as my mother) when she died, i visited my grandfather (who i saw as my father) every day when he was in hospital and then was too late getting there when he died and with my other grandfather i wasn't allowed to see him because of my age so i was scared he woudlnt' knwo i loved him. I pormise you, they do know. no way of them leaving is easier than the other.
Your grandmother will know that you love her and i'm sure one of her senses told her who you were. Having family around is the best thing for her and im sure she's go feeling loved
*loads more huggles*
if you need anythign you knwo where i am honey
Sydney You can lead the whore to culture but you can't make her think!
Miss Kitty Fantastic has asked me to post a message for everyone who has given her the much needed hugs and support. She would like to thank you all and wants to let you know that her Grandma did make it through the night and she has gone to see her again this evening. I'm sure she'll update everyone as and when news comes.
Barbara No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
*hugs*
I am so sorry to hear this. more *hugs*
I know what you you are going through. You know you can email any of us.
Whistler"I wonder wonder why the wonder falls. I wonder why the wonder falls on me. I wonder wonder why the wonder falls, with everything I touch and hear and see."
*hugs*
As I've said, hun, really sorry to hear this and my thoughts are with you and your family