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by Sydney

Ok - i can do 15 mins

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Well being able to get yourself dressed and ready to go out this fast, just landed your WHOLE gender in trouble for any date ever again.

No more "just 2 more minutes"!!!

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by Sydney
Withholding stuff? Nope, doesn't work both ways. Have you actually tried to do that to a woman? You'll crack before she does. I guarentee it!

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The answer is sleeping around. It makes Guys look like
Mac Daddy (again)(high fives to Jayjay) and girls just look like a tart

(Edited by MonSTeR 08/05/2002 13:33)

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by MonSTeR
(quotes)


The answer is sleeping around. It makes Guys look like
Mac Daddy (again)(high fives to Jayjay) and girls just look like a tart

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Strawberry or lemon ?

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by Sweet-Sange
(quotes)

Strawberry or lemon ?

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lol!

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by Incandenza
(quotes)

I didn't realise the aim was to refute humorous generalisations with specific exceptions but hey ...

Taxis stop for me, I have congratulated many team mates without touching them, frequently talk ot members of the opposite sex without visualising them naked, chocolate sometimes solves my problems and I never regretted piercing my ear.

Did I miss the point?


An advantage for those doing the ogling?

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Humor was the whole point
And as for ogling well I'll ermmmmm pass on that one I've never ogled in my life (crosses fingers quickly)


Quick note although fun can we try keep it family friendly I thank ya


(Edited by Sweet-Sange 08/05/2002 13:27)

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by Sweet-Sange
And a few more just cause I'm in that kinda mood today

[too much man bashing to quote]

---

A definite change in tone since the thread started (being pro one sex is not the same as being anti another). I think I'll duck out here rather than get insulting about women.

However, maybe someone can tell me what the female equivalent of misogyny is?

IT'S GOOD TO BE THE MAN (Revisited)

Don't imagine you can get change from a woman - give them the cash/credit card and that's the last you'll see of it.

What do you do if your girlfriend walks out? Fart, belch and invite the lads round for Beers, Pizza and Playstation.

Only a woman would ask if there'd been a man on the moon. It's documented history, no 'if' about it.

Never go to the movies with a woman if you want to follow the plot without being asked 'who's he then?'.

Go for younger women. You need a reason?

Women are all the same - they just have different voices to help you remember which one nags the most.

Definition of a bachelor: a man who smiles.

It takes a woman to drive a man to the madness that is 'do-it-yourself'.

Best way to get a woman to do something - find one who's a transexual.

Lust is blind - but the morning after is a real eye-opener.

If you want a mad man - go to a wedding.

Pandora opened the box and women have been sticking their collective noses where they shouldn't ever since.

The only books women are interested in are chequebooks.

Remember a sense of humour (and thick skin) is essential in surviving extended exposure to a girlfriend.

Fortunately, all women are not created equal.

High-Five backatcha MonSTeR!

And thank the fictional creator for man-sized kleenex!

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by Incandenza
(quotes)

A definite change in tone since the thread started (being pro one sex is not the same as being anti another). I think I'll duck out here rather than get insulting about women.

However, maybe someone can tell me what the female equivalent of misogyny is?

---

Hardly what I would say was man bashing , as quoted above the whole idea was humour .... wasn't it?

And I would hardly call what has been posted as a hatred of men ??

But we all have our own ideas of whats humourous and whats not, which is a good thing , or this topic wouldnt even have recieved one reply

ok my two penny's worth!

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7

Some Female Words De-coded

"Five Minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the bin, so women feel it's an even trade.

"Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (Never use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause
you to have one of those arguments.)

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by Incandenza
However, maybe someone can tell me what the female equivalent of misogyny is?

---

Misandry.

LOL GA those made me giggle

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

Subtext - men don't evolve or grow as people, with the added connotation of the diaper/baby reference.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

Subtext - men aren't worth worrying about

If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

Subtext - the world would be a better place without men in it (try telling this joke using a racial noun rather than 'man' and see whether it is insulting then)

Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

Subtext - Men are stupid (try telling this joke using a racial noun rather than 'man' and see whether it is insulting then)

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature
anyway.

Subtext not needed! This is a joke?

Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

Subtext not needed! This is a joke? Again, try applying the racial test (all blacks are the same ... funny?)

Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Subtext - men will inevitably fail to make women happy


Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

Subtext - Men are stupid

Best way to get a man to do something - suggest they are too old for it.

Subtext - men are stupid and easily manipulated and immature

Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.

This one works for both sexes!

If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.

Subtext - Men are lacking in emotional depth, nicely allied to the image of mental hospitals.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

Subtext - Men are only worthwhile for their money.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him
jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

Subtext - Men are selfish and egocentric

Sadly, all men are created equal

Implication ... and they are all rubbish. Just an insult, not a joke at all.

---

by Sweet-Sange
Hardly what I would say was man bashing

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I disagree.

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by Incandenza
I disagree.

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Lighten up. No one here is taking any of this seriously, none of the subtext is thought to be true. It's absurd, which is the source of all comedy.

---

by Incandenza
(try telling this joke using a racial noun rather than 'man' and see whether it is insulting then)

---

Sorry, but I find that quite offensive. Men haven't been subjected to slavery and treated as sub-human for the past few centuries. The reason Racist jokes are not acceptable is because they bear too much resemblance to historical (and for some, contemporary) views of anyone who isn't white, and the pain and suffering that has caused. Nobody in recent history has suffered prejudice and abuse because they were a man. By making that comparison you belittle how disgusting racist jokes are.

If anyone deserves to be accused of over-stepping the line it's me. I'm the one who's been telling (to some degree) misogynistic jokes. I think it's acceptable because they were all twists of the original joke about men, and I have made it clear from the outset that I hold none of this as true, just a bit of (revenge) fun. Lambaste me, if anyone, but I can see nothing wrong with Sange's posts.

(Edited by Jayjay 08/05/2002 15:24)

Well said Jayjay!

Inc, aren't you taking this a little seriously? They really are just jokes and it's not like nobody's joking about women either.

Yeah keep it fun everyone.

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by Yally
They really are just jokes

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Plato believed humour could incite violence and disrupt social order. Aristotle also subscribed to his 'Superiority theory of humour' as did Pythagoras who swore off humor entirely.

Theorists as diverse as Hobbes (Superiority theory) and Freud (tendentious humour) have considered the aggressive nature of humour.

The basic structure of a joke requires that there be a teller, a subject and an audience.

Superiority theory identifies the power relationship in a joke, the discrepancy between the teller and the audience versus the target. The joke maintains or creates social differentiation based on 'us' and 'them', on feelings of superiority.

Any feminist would tell you that patriarchal societies have used misogynistic (superiority) humour to maintain cultural stereotypes and gender roles.

Charles Gruner, a speech communication professor published a book on humour in which he compared being on the receiving end of a tendentious joke, of being the subject of other peoples' humour, as being akin to being the loser in a sporting contest.

Advocating being a woman on the grounds that 'We got off the titanic first' is not superiority humour, but incongruous humour (the frame of reference is irrelevant to modern day discourse).

'Never let your man's mind wander - it is too small to be out on its own' is superiority humour as is 'Pandora opened the box and women have been sticking their collective noses where they shouldn't ever since.'

The interesting added complication of internet type lists of jokes is that implicitly the teller of the joke is not the poster/emailer but the original creator so the poster/emailer is distanced from the ideology underlying the humour (although arguably selecting that humour as worthy of repetition implies a connection).

In any case, I was not intending to accuse Sange of misandry (thank you), rather highlight the fact that superiority humour of that kind *always* has an agenda and that the likely response was misogynistic humour (as proved to be the case).

Thanks for the lecture Inc

A woman wakes up in the early hours of the morning , and notices an empty space next to her where her husband usually is.
Wondering what is going on ,and hearing a noise downstairs , she decides to investigate.
As she gets downstairs , she notices that the kitchen light is on , and there stands the errant hubby brandishing a fly swat.
"What are you doing ?" she asks.
"Killing flies" he replies.
"Well , have you got any?" she asks , slightly perplexed.
" Yep , 3 males and 2 females " he replies.
" 3 males and 2 females" she says, "How could you tell"?
"Well , 3 were on the beer can , and the other 2 were on the phone!!!"

I just found this one as well - one of my personal favourites

FYI-CLASSES FOR MEN-SIGN-UP BY MAY 31st

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY
LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, EACH COURSE WILL ACCEPT
A MAXIMUM OF 8 PARTICIPANTS EACH.

TOPIC 1 - HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS.
STEP BY STEP, WITH SLIDE PRESENTATION.

TOPIC 2 - THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW
ON THE HOLDERS?
ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION.

TOPIC 3 - IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE
TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND AVOIDING
THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?
GROUP PRACTICE.

TOPIC 4 - FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE
LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.
PICTURES AND EXPLANATORY GRAPHICS.

TOPIC 5 - THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE:
CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE KITCHEN SINK?
EXAMPLES ON VIDEO.

TOPIC 6 - LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE TO
YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
HELPLINE SUPPORT AND HELP GROUPS.

TOPIC 7 - LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING
WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF
TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
OPEN FORUM.

TOPIC 8 - HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS
NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
GRAPHICS AND AUDIO TAPE.

TOPIC 9 - REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
REAL LIFE TESTIMONIALS.

TOPIC 10 - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT
QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS.
DRIVING SIMULATION.

TOPIC 11 - LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES
BETWEEN MOTHER AND WIFE.
ONLINE CLASS AND ROLE PLAYING.

TOPIC 12 - HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
RELAXATION, BREATHING AND OTHER TECHNIQUES.

TOPIC 13 - HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY:
REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER
IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
BE LATE.
CEREBRAL SHOCK THERAPY SESSIONS AND FULL LOBOTOMIES OFFERED.

**UPON COMPLETION OF THE COURSE DIPLOMAS
WILL BE ISSUED TO THE SURVIVORS

LOL I love these ok another one from me

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

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by Incandenza
(quotes)

Plato believed humour could incite violence and disrupt social order. Aristotle also subscribed to his 'Superiority theory of humour' as did Pythagoras who swore off humor entirely.

Theorists ...... etc etc

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Bloody hell, my head hurts