I wouldn't say that long distance relationships are a good or a bad thing when considered on their own. A lot of people I know are going out with people from London (I live near Manchester)and their relationships work really well. One girl at work had been going out with an guy from America for about 5 years so obviously it works for some people.

I have attemped this kind of relationship twice and it didn't work either time, but if i'm honest there were other things wrong with the realtionship and it's likely that it wouldn't have worked even if they'd lived next door.

Ultimately i think its down to the kind of person you and your partner are and whether you can trust him/her not to stray when you can't be phyically close (and of course whether you can trust yourself)

So Milky if you find the right girl you might find a long distance relationship perfect.

the distance can be a problem, but if you really love each other i don't see a problem.

Tough one. Never really had a long distance relationship. Although back in the halcyon days of my youth, there were months when my then girlfriend was at her parents' home in Ripon while I was stuck in Newcastle. We'd get together usually every other weekend, but those were not my happiest times. I don't think the relationship suffered because of it (it may have even benefited) but I don't think I could have coped if it wasn't for the fact that I knew we would be back together come term time.

Then there have been friends of mine that have been in long distance relationships. It suited some better than others. Those who weren't that serious (and therefore not bothered about the consequences of 'wandering') and those who aren't the touchy feely type seemed to cope with it the best.

I guess I'd say it would depend on the people and the circumstances. If youÂ’re daft enough about someone then you shouldn't let distance stop you. But it wouldn't be easy. And there has to be the hope that at some point in the (hopefully not too distant) future that you'll be able to live in reasonable proximity.

I've never been in a long-distance relationship. It amazes me how people seem to manage. I know a guy whose girlfriend is Canadian and went back there about a year ago. They've seen each other 3 times since, each time for a few weeks but it must be so difficult. Although as others have said, it seems to work for some people. I'm not sure I could do it.

Mind you, I'm a kind of a 'short-distance relationship' at the moment and that's not exactly fun. Me and my honey live together, but he runs a pub and I have a (currently rather stressful) office job. At present his assistant is away (he's Canada guy, so I don't begrudge it). I get up at 6.30am, go out to work, get home about 7pm, collapse in bed before 10. Tim gets up about 10.30am, works until about midnight...some days we're lucky to get a 'How was your day then hun?' in there...

Well, I'm in a long-distance relationship at the moment and it works ok. I live in Todmorden and Watcher girl lives in Birmingham, which takes about 3 hours on the train, so it's not too bad - we can see each other most weekends now she's finished shift-work for the summer.

Of course, it would be nice if we were closer (we're working on it ), but for the moment, it's bearable.

I had a long distance relationship that started out as a short distance relationship.

Everything was cozy until he went in the Navy, and I couldn't bear that he was away from me.

Eventually, I started regaining some of the life that he had taken away from me (i.e. seeing my friends, having fun, etc.) and it got to the point where I didn't want him to come home, coz I was having more fun without him being around.

The long-distance thing didn't work for him because he didn't trust me (which he hid under the guise of "it's not that I don't trust you, it's your male friends I don't trust..." and it drove him mad to know that I could get by just fine when he wasn't there.

I worked for me because, as I mentioned, I got my life back, and ultimately realised he wasn't the man for me.

Had the pathetic loser not gone in the Navy, there's a horrifying chance I could still be with (and married to) him now.

On the whole though, I think everyone needs their space, and although it's not ideal, a long-term relationship (or in my case, a boyfriend who works away quite a bit) can be healthy, as you appreciate the time you have together, without things going stale. (if your partner is the right one that is)

I've never been in the position of having a long distance relationship so can't really speak from experience.

However, I'm a strong believer in if its meant to be, its meant to be no matter how many miles between two people

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by Jola
However, I'm a strong believer in if its meant to be, its meant to be no matter how many miles between two people

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I'd go along with that, but from personal experience I know that when you spend so little time together, it can actually be really tough to see if it's _not_ meant to be. It can get strange, especially when one partner is putting on an act for the other until the point where something snaps, and then there's the pain and the bitterness and the heartache, because for a few hours they could pretend so as 'not to hurt you', and...

OK; so bitter personal experience here. But I've seen it happen to other people. It's so easy when you're that far apart to lose touch with what the other one is doing - even with who they are - however hard you try; however hard you both try

ive had quite a few in my time, some worked, some didn't, i think it all just depends on the people and the distant, i sometimes wish that bf/gf's lived ferther away than they do

time apart can work because its great when you see them, but being in each other pockets can be a nightmare

its all a bunch of ifs

My long distance relationship ended recently. And it was actually while I had a chance to see him that I realised it was over.
He lives thousands of miles away in LA (but spends most of his time travelling around the world with work - which is how I met him). He'd visited the UK a couple of times in the year and we were constantly emailing or on MSN or the phone. When he was working in Germany last November, he even paid for my flight so I could go out and see him. At New Year we celebrated twice - I called him at our midnight and then he woke me up at 8am to wish me Happy New Year from his timezone It was very romantic because the distance between us made the time we spent together very intense.
When I was on holiday in LA with Teresa he called where we staying a few times and emailed me to let me know he was in town. He wanted to meet up with me, but I realised I'd got over him during our time apart. It may change when I see him later in the year, we were always very physically attracted to each other and I don't really expect that to have changed, but I don't think I'll ever feel the same way.
I think the fact that he was an "unattainable," who in turn thought the same about me, made a huge difference to how I felt. But the shiny rubbed off while we were apart. Our first proper "date" (which was a few months after we first met) was September 5th last year, 6-7 months later I ended it with a little white lie. That makes it the longest relationship I've been in since my teens, but the time we spent together wouldn't fill a fortnight. We weren't a match, fortunately one of us realised before we fell for people who didn't really exist and we remain friends.

Long distance relationships between people who match can work, but they are harder to maintain. If you're not meant to be, it can take longer to find out because you only scratch the surface everytime you meet. I dare say a few nights on the trot with my nocturnal teethgrinding is enough to chase any bloke off

*Wanders In*......*Wanders Off*

Unless both parties are *really* committed to it working, and have very deep feelings for each other, I don't think it works. Initial feelings can only take the relationship so far and, after a while, the distance becomes a real stumbling block.

One of the main problems with long distance relationships is not getting enough 'real life' with each other, IMO.

Due to other commitments, on both sides (work, family, etc) visits to each other are usually short and infrequent. They may be fabulously wonderful, yes, but they're not 'real'. Monumental effort is being made by both parties to make it as goosdas possible, as it's 'been a while' and could be a while again before seeing each other.

Fights are forgotten, issues put on hold and everything is geared towards just having a great time, fun, romance. And it usually is wonderful. (Been there myself)

The real problem can come when the distance is taken away and the two sides come together full time. It doesn't always happen, but often, when reality of day to day life with this person sets in, it begins to cause problems, which in turn causes more, etc. And soon, it's over and was seen as being a huge mistake.

That said, it wouldn't stop me from getting involved in something long distance. Yes, it might end in tears, but it might also turn out to the be exactly what you've been waiting for.

Love passionately and with all your heart. You may get hurt, but it's the only way to live your life fully.

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by angelica

Love passionately and with all your heart. You may get hurt, but it's the only way to live your life fully.

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Wow - what a wonderful sentiment. Must remember that one

Hear Hear - it's the only way - if you only play half a game - how will you ever know what the full time score could be????

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by Sydney
(quotes)
Wow - what a wonderful sentiment. Must remember that one

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Agreed.. We would never know if people didn't act on the 'What Ifs'.

I think it depends very much on the two people involved and how commited both are. There isn't a simple answer that's for everyone. But they can work.

My bro has been going out with his girlfriend for over 2 1/2 years. She did previously live with us which prolly strengthened the relationship, but now she's in York. He goes and sees her about once a month and they do have their arugments and fallings out but no relationship is perfect And it does seem to work