A few more to remember...

Experience and treachery will always win out over youth and vigor.

All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.

If you work hard, and do your best,
You'll get the sack like all the rest;
But if you laze and muck about,
You'll live to see the job right out.
The work is hard, the pay is small,
So take your time and sod 'em all;
For when you're gone you'll be forgot,
Don't try and do the flamin' lot;
Else on your tombstone neatly lacquered,
These three words -- "Just bloody knackered".

(Edited by Callum 13/09/2002 23:52)

i love Dilbert...he's great. Scott Adams is a very wise man. (did anyone read one of the books where he compares his drawings to Charlie Brown and Snoopy? it was quite funny)

no. 3 is from The hitchhikers guide

The whole thing may be only loosely based on Dilbert. Some of them look suspiciously like Steven Wright material. In an attempt to get closer to the source I found this (minus previous entries, hopefully):

3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

12. My Reality Check bounced

15. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter

18. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

19. How about never? Is never good for you?

20. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

21. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

22. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

23. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

24. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

25. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

26. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

27. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

28. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

29. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

30. Thank you.We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

31. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

32. No, my powers can only be used for good.

33. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

34. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

35. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

36. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

37. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

38. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

39. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

40. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.