You'll be fine, honest. The great thing about starting Uni is that everyone is in the same boat, as you are all new, so everyone will be trying to get to know people which makes it easier. Even if you are unsure of starting a conversation, lots of people will come up and start one with you.
I was feeling shy when i started Uni (many years ago now ) so i just started out talking to the people on my floor in halls. You then get to meet other people through them and soon you know loads of people.
Bonding with random people next to you in lectures over the quality or otherwise of the lecturer also worked pretty well as i recall... this may say more about some of the lecturers at Swansea though

Good luck with it, Uni is great fun

only that almost *everyone* who is going to bein your year will be feeling the same!!!

It can be scary striking out on your own, but by the end of freshers week you'll wonder what on earth you were worried about. Universities have freshers weeks for exactly that purpose - to bring together everyone and give you an oppertunity to get to know all kinds of people. Plus this is a great time to forget that you are the 'shy' one or the 'introverted' one or whatever. These people have never met you and will have no pre-conceptions so say and do what you like (so long as its legal )

Just be yourself and you a guarenteed to find some like minded frinds who will more than likely become friends for life

As for your other friend who's just gone to Uni - just ensure that you make an effort to keep in touch. Visit each other at your respective Uni's, use email and get together when you are both at home

Good luck sweetie. i'm sure everything will be fine!!!

I can vouch for the friends for life stuff, or at least some of the best friends you'll ever make anyway. I started university in, er, 1986 (cough), and am still friends with at least eight people from that time, we met up again for yet another wedding only last weekend. In fact I met the person who is still my best friend ever on my first day at Uni.

And I was a quiet kid, with not many friends before then. My parents pretty much controlled my life until the day they dropped me off at the university they chose for me, doing the course they suggested, having taken the A levels I was told to do. I pretty much hadn't made a decision for my self my whole life.

But as has been said, you meet people, people in your halls, people on your course, people in whatever-soc you join. And a lot of these people won't become your long term friends but a few will, and your social circle will emerge.

Oh, and for the record, my new found freedom led to 3 years of drunken debauchery and failing exams, but I emerged with a degree of sorts and my life

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by head2head
I have been having visions of myself being the sad muppett that sits in their room all day!

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That sounds just like me (in *ahem* 1994)! I never spoke to anyone I didn't know unless it was unavoidable and was really upset after my Mum and Sister left me unpacking in my room in halls. After 5 mins of feeling sorry for myself I decided to wipe away the tears and go and make a cup of tea (in true British style), and while I was in the kitchen one of my new flatmates introduced himself and invited me out for pizza that night with a group of about 10 other freshers. I had a great night and never looked back!

My best friends now are all people I met during my time at Uni and we all keep in touch, no matter where we are in the country. It really was the best 3 years of my life... despite my odd degree choice.

GOOD LUCK *hug*

Aw hunny, dont worry, this will be me this time next year !! Which uni are you going to? Will you be far away from home?

You just have to keep your chin up and smile, just force yourself to chat to people (I know its not easy but it will be worth it) and I'm sure you'll make new friends no problem

As for your mate who has already gone, it all depends on how much effort youre prepared to make to keep in touch with eachother. Im sure she wont forget about you

P.s ignore your dad, dads know just what to say to unintentionly make you feel that bit worse!!!

Try not to worry about it too much, hun *hugs*

From what some of the others have said about their time at uni, I wish I had gone myself and I'm about as shy and retiring as you get

Good luck head2head! I'm sure you'll be fine!

I was so nervous when I started college but I found that on the whole people are friendly and pleasant.

Awww h2h, I know you are a great people person. You make me smile and ALWAYS cheer me up when I'm down. You know how to make someone feel good. Btw- Prove your dad wrong. And if your friend really is a good friend, she won't forget you. I don't think anyone could forget you, Louise . If people don't like you, well do you really care? These people will be silly twits if they don't like you, your the most lovable person ever. Face it hun, we'll always love you around here and I'm pretty sure you'll make friends straight away.

Txt me if you wanna talk and feel low!!!

*huggles*

Thanks for all the support, especially you Lizzie - that post really meant a lot to me. Good to know that I am not forgettable !!

Barabra, I'm off to york to do English and History (its about 3 hours north of me, so its about as far away from home as I would want to go. the rail and road links are good though, so I think I'll be OK.

Lots of people have told me to talk to as many people as possible - my mum has been great; she's told me to grin and say Hi to everyone I see Plus, I'm having my hair dyed blue just before i go, so I figure that will be a good ice breaker!

Pretty much what everyone else said. Have hot beverages and a couple of mugs easily accessible in your packing and ask people in your halls in for a drink at the start. If nothing else you can ask what degree they're doing, where they're from, what their A-level subjects were etc over a coffee. You'll get sick of these questions, but they're ice-breakers and can quickly lead to more interesting discussion.

Resist the temptation to rely on friends back home during the first couple of weeks. By all means a quick call if you feel down to raise your spirits but too much and it may make you feel worse about having no one where you are that you feel you can talk to and discourage making new friends, which you will.

Never been to Uni (long, very boring story), but just posted this to send you great big *hugs* and to tell you that you'll manage just fine honey, you really will

I wasn't a uni person either so no help there. But if you have your phone or your get online access there are plenty of people out here who'll back you up and listen to any latenight rantings

I'd say I'd visit but not sure if I'd make it up there very often

Despite what many people think of me now (or even at the time at school), but when I left home to go to Uni I felt horribly out of my depth and lost. I was scared to talk to anyone, felt a long way from home and missed my closest friends.

By Christmas, I was back home in Leeds missing all the new friends I'd made in Newcastle.

When I first arrived, someone told me I should just go and knock on everyone's doors and introduce myself. Yeah, as if! Wish I had though. As others have said, everyone else is pretty much feeling as scared and lost as you are. Chances are, most of the friends you make in freshers week will have disappeared by Chrimbo, but they'll be replaced by a new bunch, I promise.

Best advise I could give - take this as an opportunity to see just what you ARE capable of. You're at the beginning of a fantastic situation. You have no reputation, no image, this is blank slate time. People will get to know you for how you are now, not what you were like four years ago, or what your sibling is like. You are in no one's shadow. Take that opportunity to really find out about yourself. You never know, you might not only surprise your dad, but yourself too.

As for friends; I had to resit my a-levels while all my friends, including my two oldest and closest friends, went to Uni. I hated that year, but we kept in contact. We still are, despite one living in Italy and another in the US. In fact, there's an email in my in box from my friend in Italy that I need to reply to...

One last thing, York is a really cool place. Some great pubs, and a fantastic little bakery in the centre that's still open after the pubs close and serves the most delicious food. Can't remember what it is called, but I'm sure you'll find it. Also, if you fancy some clubbing, Leeds isn't too far away.

Also, as Demona said, resist the temptation to go home too soon or too often. I know too many people who ruined their time at Uni by going home at least every other weekend. Ride it out at the beginning, throw yourself into the opportunity you are in, join as many clubs as possible, and get to know your roomies and/or neighbours as well as possible.

Oh, and don't forget to study...

PS - My brother studied at York. His info might be out of date, but I could ask him for some cool places to hang out if you want?

(Edited by Jayjay 24/09/2002 01:07)

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by Jayjay
PS - My brother studied at York. His info might be out of date, but I could ask him for some cool places to hang out if you want?

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That would be really cool ! Thanks a lot...much appreciated.

I'm feeling a bit better about everything now...sort of! Its just so daunting, and I'm getting really frustrated at having to sit around while everyone around me goes away to uni (I'm not going to another 2 weeks!) I feel like I just want to be there and get through the first week!!

(Edited by head2head 24/09/2002 10:39)

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by Jayjay
One last thing, York is a really cool place. Some great pubs, and a fantastic little bakery in the centre that's still open after the pubs close and serves the most delicious food. Can't remember what it is called, but I'm sure you'll find it. Also, if you fancy some clubbing, Leeds isn't too far away.

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Agreed - York is a great place and the pub scene is very good.
For the life of me i can't remember name of the bakery at the moment even though i go there all the time! I've just gone blank ........ pah, this is really gonna annoy me

Noticed how Jayjay has mentioned the clubs in Leeds? Well that's because the clubs in York are pants! Leeds is very easy to get to though ....... cheap, trains every half an hour and run into the early hours of the morning to get back.

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by Jayjay
PS - My brother studied at York. His info might be out of date, but I could ask him for some cool places to hang out if you want?

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Or you could always email me if you like ...... i've been in York now for 13 years.

my mate found it hard to first month or so to get ew mates and be away from home and stuff, but he soon got into it. one day he came back to stevenage with green hair and studs all over him, before he was a real smart dresser and very straight and narrow, then he comes back the complete oppersite with laods of mates and stuff, he loved it. so when you're settled in it coudl e te best days of your life. ok the study may be very hard, but you get to meet some real cool people who will be your friends for life and get up to all sorts of silly antics.

And at least you have the added re-assurance that Spike won't be in the room next door

When I went to uni I thought it would be a bit daunting. However my very first lesson I ended up speaking to a guy who to this day is a really good mate (even if I don't get to see him enough ). We went out to the pub together on the first day and I got so drunk I was being sick in the toilets at 4 in the afternoon

Iv'e got so many great memories of my three years at Napier(Edinburgh) but as everyone has said you go in with a clean slate and I'm sure you'll make loads of new friends. Have fun

As everyone else has said, pretty much everyone you meet will be feeling the same. If my experiences are anything to go by, within half an hour of your parents leaving you'll be chatting to the people down the corridor and probably down the pub with them that night! You'll get sick to death of telling people who you are, where you're from, what A-Levels you did, what course you're doing, what hall you're living in...If you're in a flat or a hall, you'll find the first people you hang round with are flatmates or corridor mates - first years always start off in groups of 12!!

As someone who was incredibly shy before uni, I can vouch for the fact that when everyone else is in the same position it's very easy to get to know people. There'll be lots of socialising too - just remember that while a little alcohol is a wonderful way to loosen up, a lot is a *really* bad idea when you're with people you barely know!

And if you're totally undomesticated, buy yourself a good basic cookbook - something like Grub on a Grant - and practice a little while you're still at home. Never underestimate how many variations on pasta and tomato sauce there are!

All the bese, H2H - I'm sure you'll have an absolute blast when you get there!

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by Milky

When I went to uni I thought it would be a bit daunting. However my very first lesson I ended up speaking to a guy who to this day is a really good mate (even if I don't get to see him enough ). We went out to the pub together on the first day and I got so drunk I was being sick in the toilets at 4 in the afternoon

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Replace 'first lesson' with 'first full day', 'a guy' with 'fresher's pub crawl', and 4 in the afternoon with 'into the early hours of the morning' and that was me yesterday

Still not recovered properly yet

Getting to know people slowly but surely though