I didn’t feel particularly broody until I actually got pregnant. Sure I liked babies, but it was nice to give them back to their parents. After I had Sam I went into broody overdrive and just over a year later I was (sort of ) accidentally pregnant again. I had trouble with B being a sick baby and his operation when he was 8 weeks old that I vowed never to put myself through having another child again and my ‘clock’ seemed to stop ticking.

I do think that your hormones have something to do with the broody feeling. After all we were put on this earth to reproduce and I think the urges are to do with that. Only you will know if you have a yearning for a baby. Some people do, some donÂ’t. Others like me change when they find themselves in a situation which they canÂ’t get out of (or could if they so chose but thatÂ’s a whole different discussion )

I must admit yesterday I saw a newborn baby and I got that feeling which I knew was broody. I suddenly wanted to smell babies, change nappies and fall asleep with a baby lying on my chest like I used to do with my two but after snapping myself out of it I knew that it’s not gonna happen (my choice). With me I think it’s ‘cos I’m 32 (there I said it! Lol) and know I’m not getting any younger and realising my babies are growing up. My mum always says to me that if I’m so sure I don’t want another why don’t I get sterilised and throw away my pill for good? ‘Tho I’m pretty sure I don’t want another one I like to have the option still there incase I change my mind.

I don't feel that I've given up any of my freedom since I had the boys but I do have a very good backup system in the form of my mother-out-law and to be honest I don't know if I would have coped quite so well without her. She's an angel (most of the time )

As for the selfish thing, it goes. Really. You get a whole new outlook towards life and I for one wouldnÂ’t go back to being childless. Not even when theyÂ’re making me go mental with their fighting, cheekiness, and general naughtiness

I have to agree with T, although with me I've always wanted to be a mum, from as early as I can remember I have wanted children, it actually suprises me that when I got married (at 21) I waited until I was 24 to have my first son. I remember though after giving birth to him thinking I "Never" want to do that again. Before he was 2 I was pregnant again and then once he was 2 I was pregnant again LOL

I now have 4 wonderful boys ranging from 11 years to 2 years old, I must admit to feeling broody all the time lately as this is the longest gap I have ever gone without being pregnant again (good Job my other half had the snip) to be honest I really do think you either yearn for kids like I did, feel that you would like children, or totaly hate the idea.

The only advice I would give to any people is that children dramaticaly change your life ... forever, for me it was something I had always wanted and have never once regretted it, infact if I could have more I think number 5 would be well on it's way by now

Although I had children young, so can't really comment from personal experience - I would say that you should only have children when you feel it's the right time, rather than because you feel you ought to.

When the right time is, however is difficult to say. No-one would have said that I was ready to be a parent until I was one. They make room for themselves in your life, and after a while you can't remember what it's like without them.

Don't forget though, that although it's slightly harder to become pregnant after about 35, women are capable of childbearing well into their 40s. Don't feel pressurised into making a decision.

That said, I've been broody and clucky for months now... Must... fight... urges...

(Edited by Kate 07/11/2003 14:42)

i never used to want kids whenever people used to ask when I was gonna have any (downside to being the youngest and also having a sister who has kids) i didnt think i ever wanted kids til i met my ex then slowly the whole image of marriage AND kids started to look good since the split (oh so long a go now) i've gone back to my original thought of NO KIDS THANKS but sometimes on the rare occasion my thoughts wonder and i think for a moment i want kids and soon as i want to be able to enjoy their young lives and have fun with them but then i remember im single and the only way i'd get pregnent now would be through a one night stand and it aint worth the risks and future damaging problems (not with having the child itself but other sides of doing that if that makes any sense)

(Edited by bipolar 07/11/2003 16:09)

OOh a toughie.

I'd always wanted to be a Mum but knew it would happen when the time was right. However, my daughter was an accident but I've never looked back.

She's definitely the best thing that happened and yes, social life does get a bit limited at times but at the end of the day I went from party animal - out every night of the week to being a Mum and something inside just made it all fall into place. I still go out, I still have fun but I enjoy the nights more so and I don't take it for granted.

I would never turn back the clock and be child free again.

Yes as women we have choices and we are put on the earth to do the whole reproduction thing, after all thats what our bodies were designed for but don't feel pressured or left out. If it happens it happens. You'll know.

Yes I do get very broody like Teresa said and would love to have a new baby in my arms and stuff but I do snap out of it quite quickly again.

I had a similar feeling when i turned 25. I called it my bridget jones year.

Turning 26 didnt affect me so i must conclude it's a society thing.

Not wanting kids, just "being at that age". 30 is another "milestone" or "Millstone", as i prefer, that society makes people feel. what really changes with a day? nothing, just peoples expectations.

i want kids, but i'm not desperate for them right now. i have time to work on myself right now and wouldnt be right for motherhood just yet. When i turned 25 i was desperate for kids, a husband, the whole package. didnt matter that the guys i met wernt right for me, didnt matter that i couldnt support a kid just then. No, i just wanted one. most everyone else i knew had had their first kids by 25, why hadnt i? what was wrong with me?

Thankfully the feeling (or should that be desperation) passed and i'm quite content for things to run their course. and i have promised i wont go all bridget jones again until my 35th birthday.

Yeah, this is a toughie alright.

First of all, i don't think you're ever "ready" to have kids. It sounds weird, but with me, both my two were planned, even though there is seven years between them. But when i found out i was pregnant, both times i thought "oh my God, what have i done?". It's the thought of the responsibility i think, but i've never regretted having either of them. I was always going to be a mum, i was never career orientated. By rights i shouldn't have kids, because my GP told me when i had my 6 week check up after having Hannah that if they'd known about my kidney complaint beforehand, they would've told me not to even consider having kids. So not knowing was a blessing for me in a strange way even though i was pretty ill after both births and almost losing Hannah.

Don't feel that you "ought" to have kids because other people are. My sister isn't the least bit maternal but she's a very caring and conscientious Aunt. She's always been like that from a young age(not maternal)

It's a huge, huge step... it'll probably be the biggest decision you'll ever make.

I do still get broody when i see newborns, my cousin had a little boy in August and i got to hold him and it was lovely holding a sleeping newborn baby instead of a wiggling, giggling toddler but the matter has been taken completely out of my hands now in that i had to be sterilised on health grounds. It was nice to hand him back to his mum though. I also remember what it was like with the endless routine of sleepless nights, feeding, dirty nappies and think, no thanks, done all that, not keen to repeat the experience a third time

Before i got pregnant with Joel, i was incredibly broody but Ray was hesitant. His job wasn't exactly secure and we hadn't been married two years but we talked about it and decided we would start a family. The next month he was laid off for a month and that's when i got pregnant With Hannah, i got broody but i wanted Joel to be settled in his school and happy in life before introducing a brother or sister to him. That's why there's such a big age gap. And as it happens, he coped extremely well and loves being a big brother.

(Edited by Keenangel 07/11/2003 19:23)

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by Araminta
Do I want a baby because I feel left out and want what everyone else seems to have? or do i really have a yearning for children?

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Only you can answer that, but I think that maybe you'd know if it was the latter. I have never wanted kids but always assumed that I'd have them simply because that is what everyone does. Now I have discovered that there are plenty of people out there who choose not to have kids and who are very happy with that decision. I have plenty of reasons for not wanting children ranging from feeling physically sick at the idea of being pregnant, through the certain knowledge that I'd be a truly awful parent, to wanting to do other things with my time and money. If I remain child free, I can do voluntary work and help other people (my sister, perhaps) look after their kids when the time comes, so it is in no way a selfish decision as some people might suggest.

Whatever decision you make, it will take time. You have a great number of friends here who can offer advice either way, though. Just do what makes you happy and don't rush things

Well I for one can end up feeling broody, but I am single and male. Its like you see everyone else having families, and you just feel like you are supposed to as well. Then you think that you are running out of time.
Admittedly on occasions I have been drunk and upset, feeling robbed of ability to have children and carry them by being male.

It can get quite confusing.
Don't know how general a male perspective that is.

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by Gopher
Admittedly on occasions I have been drunk and upset, feeling robbed of ability to have children and carry them by being male.

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I feel robbed too! Of the ability to open jars, wine bottles, and work machinery! I sewar my vidow only works when there's a Y chromosome present!

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by cat
I feel robbed too! Of the ability to open jars, wine bottles, and work machinery

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I cant do those things either, I have in the past had to stand around looking dumstruck whilst some guy repairs my car or in one case an exgirlfriend who loved machinary.

Also I always spend five minutes trying to open a bottle, only to have the person I have given it to open it in a second. Its bad when a girl gives me something to open, then after I try she tries again and does it and then laughs at me for not being able to.

Wonder if thats why people laughed when at an elections hustings someone asked all the canditates what fruit they would be and I said I would be a Tomato as I would not know if I was a fruit or a vegtable

(Edited by Gopher 10/11/2003 21:02)

(Edited by Gopher 10/11/2003 21:19)

To open a jar all you need to do is put a rubber glove (like a marigold) over the top and turn. Works everytime

a bit off topic, but last night i started to worry myself, i suddenly thought, i really want to get married! like, now!....im only 19....i best not mention it to the boyfriend...

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by Spitefulangel
a bit off topic, but last night i started to worry myself, i suddenly thought, i really want to get married! like, now!....im only 19....i best not mention it to the boyfriend...

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why not? Maff knows i want to get married. if he propsed now id say yes in a second

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by lil_miss
(quotes)

why not? Maff knows i want to get married. if he propsed now id say yes in a second

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that might be why he hasnt proposed yet

hehe, he's probably worried about how much of an impact buying the huge rock will have on his dvd collection

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by lil_miss
(quotes)

why not? Maff knows i want to get married. if he propsed now id say yes in a second

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No pressure then

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by Araminta
has anyone out there felt the same?

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Yeah I feel the same sometimes. I'm 27 now, and although I don't want any children right now it worries me that at some point in the future I'm going to have a massive change of heart and that the only thing that will matter to me will be a baby. I can't help worrying about what if it's too late, what if I'm infertile etc.

It sounds really silly and I do have friends that don't have children, even though alot of my older friends do - and I don't see them so often any more. When I'm surrounded with other people who, like me, don't want children I feel fine, no yearnings or anything, but thats partly because of the fact that I still feel like I'm 16.

I'm still waititng for the morning when I wake up and feel like an adult.

In a nutshell, no your not alone, but I don't know what to good advice in this case would be. Someone once told me that you can only do what feels right for youat the time. I try to stand by that in in doing so I feel that I can't really regret a decision that felt like the right one, even if now I can see clearly it was wrong. Sure, you and your outlook wil change, but you can't do anything about that.

I say play it by ear... I know some of the mums here have said there's never a best time to have children, but I feel fairly sure that while I still want to go out whenever I want, travel and see the world or spend £200 on shoes without feeling guilty - now is not my time for a family.

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by Desire
but I feel fairly sure that while I still want to go out whenever I want, travel and see the world or spend £200 on shoes without feeling guilty

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Are we meant to feel guilty when we still do this?