For those of you who haven't had me forward this to you yet!

On the twelfth day of Winterfest my true love gave to me...

Twelve percussion artists engaged in a multi-cultural performance of
significant historical native culture,

Eleven Pipers participating in a historic performance of native Scottish
Celtic culture (suppressed by Anglo-imperialist cultural imperatives),

Ten retrogressively ennobled white males still caught up in Victorian
social modes performing aerial stunts in a safe and sensible manner,

Nine emancipated females demonstrating their independence from outmoded
cultural mores with an interpretive celebration of female empowerment,

Eight unmarried womyn protesting battery-farmed bovine enslavement with
a sit-in on three-legged stools - the symbol of farm policy oppression,

Seven large waterfowl in a protected watershed that has been declared a
"Swan Conservation Area",

Six organically raised free-range geese reproducing naturally and
allowed to raise their eggs without fear of non-vegetarian harvesting,

Five rings made of material that has caused countless centuries of
oppression, slavery, and native persons displacement,

Four avians emancipated from their life of servitude as "calling birds",

Three hens from the Loire valley that have escaped a life of servitude
ending in sacrifice so that some "gourmet" can demonstrate regressive
cruelty to animals by eating them,

Two endangered-species doves labouring to change the incorrect and
insulting term "turtle" in reference to graceful fast-moving birds,

And a farm-raised partridge fed cruelty-free grain in an organic pear
tree raised using conservationist techniques in a pesticide-free
environment.