Buffy 7.4 -- Help (i need somebody. Help! not just anybody...)

Sunnydale funeral home (probably about as quiet a place as Heathrow), Fluffer, Xandy and Newt hang out, speculate about how bad things can be, and dust a vamp.

Credits -- da-nanana-nanana-nah...

Buffy settles into her cousellor role, offering the quality advice you'd expect from a ninja-cheerleader who usually solves problems by decapitating them with a big axe. Fortunately, a girl she's attempting to counsel has already solved the problem of being billied -- by beating up the bully.

Willow and Xander walk through a field discussing how things are, how bad they can be, and how apocalyptic they're probably going to get. Xander toggles his "insightfull comment" switch to on, and says that willow's magic can either be under control, or very powerfull -- but not both at the same time.

W walks up to Tara's grave crouches by it, strokes the headstone and cries

Back in school, more kids have decided that Fluffy's the person to offer dazling insight into there life's woes; these include a kid who thinks he might be gay (and wants to go out with Buffy in order to find out) and a girl who's not going to graduated (cos she can see the future and know's she'll die on Friday surrounded by strange coins. "Nice shirt, buffy" Cassie says "You should wear a sweater so it won't get stained".

B chats with the principal about this, spills coffee down her shirt, and enlists Dawn's help to find out what's going on with Cassie.

Dawn and Cassie chat in the canteen about assignments, boys and Buffy. Cassie mentions a guy (Mike) who's been asking her out to a party loads but who she keeps turning down.

In chez Summers W hacks into a zillion different places to read Cassies files, then shocks Xander by googling her ("She's seventeen!?!". Cassie has a typically mopey, angsty, teenagey web page full of typically mopey, angsty, teenagey poetry and art ( y'all know the type... ).

Dawn says she thinks it's Mike from school that'll kill her, Willow pulls up Cassie's father's police record (full of drunk and disorderlies) and speculates that it's him.

Fluffer and Xandy pop over and accuse Cassie's dad of beating her, get it all horribly wrong, and slink away from the distressed father who won't get to see his daughter for another three weeks anyway. As they leave Cassie says that it's not him (her father), thanks for trying to help, but don't bother. Buffy slips into stupid-shrink mode and rightly gets her head ripped off by the girl who is (gosh, what a suprise) actually rather concerned by her impending, inevitable, death.

In the school library red-robed figures chant (ooga-shaka, ooga-ooga...) and burn a picture of Cassie in a circle of strange coins.

Various filler scenes -- Buffy reads Cassie's poetry; Dawn, Mike and Cassie have lunch together; B, X, W & D do the researching thing; Cassie writes a diary.

Buffy tries to talk to Spike, but he's still far too insane to offer any information or insight.

buffy talks to Mike, Mike dosn't come accross as the furious, vengefull murdery type who'll brutally end the life of a friend because she spurned him. He does say that Dawn's his second choice date for the party tho.

Fortunately, given that the investigation is getting nowhere and we're already three-quarters of the way through the ep, a random locker search by the principal turns up a pile of strange coins in one of the students lockers. Buffy has a quick, subtle, friendly chat with the owner of the locker, who turns out not to know much, but he knows a guy who does...

Dawn and Cassie leave school, Cassie says she knows Buffy asked Dawn to keep an eye on her, but that they're friends anyway. One of the guys buffy counseled earlier (Peter) shows up and asks Dawn to the dance, she says no, he quips and leaves. Dawn turns back to Cassie -- who's not there! I wonder where she could be...

...oh look, there she is, bound and gagged behind a bookcase in the library, that's good I thought she'd got lost for a moment.

A red-robed Peter drags Cassie over to the circle of weird coins and red-robed teenage boys, where he prepares to sacrifice her to the demon Avalis using a meat cleaver (a meat cleaver? for a sacrifice? Sheesh... amateur).

"This is going on your permenant record" says Buffy as she whips off her red-robed teenage boy disguise. Peter attacks Buffy with the cleaver. The fight lasts approximately 0.1 milliseconds. Fluffy mocks the boys amateurish demon summoning attempts, the boys do a quick "he's behind you" routine, and Buffy turns round to see Avalis strolling over to eat Cassie.

This battle lasts a little bit longer, and is a little less one sided, and things are looking bad for the buffster (and for cassie for that matter) until Spike shows up (without any rent-a-friends) and first saves B from being squished by Avalis and then starts thump(whince)ing Peter.

B torches Avalis, as Spike unties and ungags Cassie. A gratefull Cassie looks at spike with recognition and says "someday she'll tell you". A bemused Spike wanders off, a dying avalis takes a bite out of peter's shoulder, a shoulder-bitten peter asks for buffy's help. B quips, and helps Cassie out of the library. As they leave they trip a boobytrap which pitches a crossbow bolt at cassie's head.

The kung-fu super-buffster catches the xbow bolt an inch from Cassie's face, saving her again.

"You see, you can make a difference" says Buffy. "You will" says Cassie, then she has a heart attack and dies.

Everybody mopes around chez summers. The talk about destiny, and how sometimes however much you try there will be some people you just can't save.

Wow... isn't this the season of perky morals. Sheesh...