Better late than Kentucky fried chipmunk...

Buffy 7.5 -- Selfless

Dawn's helping Willow unpack, and is giving her tips on how not to be a social pariah; Fluffer and Xandy walk in chatting about Anya, Xandy thinks she's coming round to being more socially responsible and less vengeance demony.
Cut to a blood-splattered Anya and the corpses of 5 young guys with their hearts torn out.

Credits -- dooby-dooby-doo-doo...

Ninth century Scandinavia, clearly filmed in an optimised-for-mpeg styleee. Anya's breeding rabbits to sell to the townsfolk, and Olaf's chatting about fighting trolls. The chat moves on to Yanky berating Olaf for his drinking and wenching, but Olaf cannily assuages Yanky's concerns about one of the bar wenches -- "Her hips are wide and loadbearing, like a Baltic woman. Your hips are small, like a Baltic woman from a more arid region" the old smoothie (must remember that line).

Back in the present, Yanky's Lady MacBething, and Spike and Fluffy have 2 chats, at least one of which is one of Spikes hallucinations. Spikes all mad and mopey, and is getting a little bit dull -- needs to get more sun, that'd give a bit more get-up-and-go.

After getting readmitted to Sunnydale University, Willow bumps into a flustered and still a bit bloodstained Anya stumbling out of a dorm. As Yanky runs off Rosebud goes inside and vaults to the conclusion that Yanky's gone back to her old vengeance demony ways. Rosebud finds a girl inside who's a tiny little bit hysterical with horror. Turns out the girl's boyfriend was mean and dumped her callously infront of all his mates, she got a bit irked at this and wished that they'd have their hearts ripped out. "Done". Big spider demon thing attacks Rosebud and gets magically bounced out of the window.

Back in the ninth century Olaf's days of wenching are over now that Yanky's turned him into a troll. An impressed D'Hoffryn shows up and offers her a job.

Fluffer's interrupted from working and balancing pencil holders on her head by Rosebud calling to bring her up to date on heartless guys, spider demons and her class timetable.

A delighted Halfrek congratulates Yanky on doing such a good job. Yanky mopes.

Fluffer and Xandy go spider demon hunting, find another heartless corpse, get found by a spider demon. Once spidey realises that fluffer isn't very co-operative about having her heart torn out it scurries up a tree. Xandy advocates returning to base for more firepower and spider-demon protection. Fluffer lobs an axe up into the tree, brutally murdering the poor defenceless creature that was only doing what came naturally to it (the spider demon I mean, not Xander).

Xandy, Fludder (heh, tpyo, like the look of it tho) and Rosebud discuss the dozen or so sipder demons they're facing and whether or not to kill Yanky.

Xandy votes "no" on the murdering-his-girlfriend thing. Rants rage, on topics such as going mad and flaying people ("sitting right here" says Roseblood), humping the living dead, and stabbing your boyfriend through the heart to consign him to hell just after he's got his soul back. Fluffer heads off to put Yanky down like the rabid dog she is...

Rosebud summons D'Hoffryn who complements her on flaying Warren.

Yanky's returned to the scene of the crime, Fluffer finds her there, Xandy does a quick "violence never solves anything" routine, before he's backhanded into the wall. The girls fight (starts of with just name-calling and hair-pulling, then mud wrestling, before progressing to stabbing with pointy metal things).

Fludder impales Yanky through the chest with her sword.

Quick "once more with feeling" musical digression "I've boned a troll, I've wreaked some wrath...".

Back in the now, Yanky moans about being stabbed with swords hurting, and attacks fludder with the sword. Xandy rugby tackles Fludder to stop her from killing Anya, and before Fludder can give the evil demon-loving traitor what he deserves D'Hoffryn appears in a puff of smoke, crackle of lightning, and other cheap pyros.

Turns out that Rosebud's intervened with D'Hoffy on Yanky's behalf, and he's willing to undo the carnage (he has such high hopes for Rosey); but such a feat has a heavy price -- the life and soul of a vengeance demon mwah-hah-hah!!!

More cheap pyros, Hally appears, says "hi Anya" then starts screaming as she goes up in more expensive pyros. D'Hoffy berates Yanky -- "never go for the kill, when you can go for the pain". D'hoffy vanishes in a flash of pyros, Yanky mopes, Fluffer checks to see if the heartless guys are still all corpsey, xandy banters wittilly with his girlfriend the mass murdering demon.

Things missed out -- Hally and Yanky scene in somewhere Boshevikky turn of the 20th century where they slaughtered a bunch of russian nobles. D'Hoffy makes a "from beneath you it devours" comment.

On the Scooby-side of things this week was quite successfull; Rosey got into the classes she wanted , has got her work-magic balance sorted out, and looks like she might be back on the road to the dark side; Fludder learnt to balace a cup on her head; Yanky didn't die, and did repent; Xandy's girfliend is a live goodish demon, not a dead evil one. Spike's still not sane. Job security for vengeance demons clearly ain't what it used to be -- just being good at your job ain't good enough, being friends with someone who needs to be taught a lesson is a dangerous hobby Hally, and one you won't get another chance to enjoy.


Correct a few typos...

(Edited by Callum 03/11/2002 22:57)